A Prefect's Uncle/Chapter 5
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There are other players who've a match if, when they've the honour, they discover their opponent's ball teed up before their caddie has put their very own on the tee. To say that this man shall not enter as a result of he is that this or that or the other factor would result in our in the end changing into a category organization, which, as Confucius himself says, we aren't and must not be. I do not pretend to say that a mean participant is at all times "off" with this or that club, but as each golfer knows there come times or spells of times when all ability with one class of membership seems to vanish. 5 P.M., or in the evening after eight; that any poet discovered utilizing more than five arm-chairs within the composition of a quatrain will probably be charged two oboli an hour for every chair in excess of that quantity; and that the billiard-marker shall be required to charge a premium of three times the strange charge for tables utilized by versifiers in lieu of writing-pads? It is far better and extra humane to abuse your opponent who has a right of reply, than your caddie who has none. Some men abuse their poor innocent beast of burden, the caddie, in a manner painful to listen to.
Tennis, as an illustration, whenever you first fail to win a short chase, or your opponent keeps on serving nicks; billiards, when your ball is always underneath a cushion, or the balls useless secure time after time; cricket, when an umpire has given you out by a mistake of judgment-all these are trials, and so they kind part of the discipline of life. It has been mentioned, that every match is gained by the short game; this, like many a lot-quoted sayings, is a half-fact. At golf, however, it could also be actually stated that no one placing-inexperienced is exactly like every other-one is fast, one other slow, one easy, another uneven, one with one type of turf, one other with one other. Such circumstances, nevertheless, are painfully common, and like Jorrocks, we can solely implore ingenuous youth to attempt to keep away from these pitfalls, and realise while nonetheless younger and within the heyday of his success, that the inevitable hour should come eventually, and make it a duty to fulfill it with philosophic calm.
I contend, however, that it is not, because of the various situations of the greens and turf. He has misplaced some of his size, he can't power a ball out of its bunker as he did formerly, and his eye will not be fast at judging the gap of about eighty yards which he has to hold to get over some danger. But Mr. Hilton has to take out an iron membership, because there are some occasions when it is totally impossible to use every other membership. The participant with only an strange capacity perhaps may feel actually confident with just one membership, and but has to play with several; so of him it may be stated that every stroke-except that played with one membership-is a trial to his nerves. It is advisable that no one ought to stand behind a man's club when he hits the ball, however even this, I really feel satisfied, a man can get accustomed to, if he will solely apply his thoughts to it. There may be no doubt that golf is terribly making an attempt to a man. Now it is only the best players who are masters equally of 5 - 6 clubs, and that i doubt if this can be stated actually even of them.
To ingenuous youth I observe that every one these fads are absurd, and no person who possesses any self-self-discipline need fall a victim to them. Every youth should be advised by some candid good friend that to be a faddist is foolish, and if the desire be resisted when he is younger it will never prevail. If you do not need to speak your self you may be as dumb as a drum with a hole in it, as Sam Weller says, and you could go farther, and forbid anyone to speak to you; however to stamp and swear because any person within hearing distance of you chooses to talk to a good friend is ridiculous and foolish, partly because it's contemptible, and partly because, as you aren't ready to stop all dialog on the links, you must grin and bear it. The hideous feeling of discomfort that comes over a player when he has topped his ball and made a deep gap in it, the horrible persistency with which ball after ball is sliced, the lacking of one or two really brief putts, the unhealthy luck that attends him when placing rather well, the way in which the hole is missed by a tenth of an inch, the frequent bad lies-all these combine to make life a burden.
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